Monday, May 26, 2008
zoo
When I am put in charge of the zoo (expected any day now) I shall introduce a short exam for all adults before they will be allowed in.
I originally thought of requiring some basic level of zoology (the difference between a tortoise and a turtle, that sort of thing) but decided I was being unreasonable, So my examinees will have to demonstrate just three things;
1) the ability to read the name on a sign before announcing the species to your small child.
Two of my favourites today were "a cat" (a Madagascan aye-aye), and "a rat" (a Turkish spiny mouse, rather smaller than your average house mouse). The best however was the pygmy slow loris. Now I don't expect people to be able to recognise a pygmy slow loris. I could probably have managed "loris" (it crawls slowly underneath branches, is furry and is much smaller than a sloth) but I might have been pushed even for that. The lady behind me had no doubts though. Gazing at this 6 inch long, yellow furred hanging ball of fluff up in the branches of the tree, she announced confidently "A meerkat!"
2) the possession and use of at least one further adjective apart from "ugly" and "cute" that can be applied to members of the animal kingdom ("big" in this context doesn't count.)
3) the correct method of turning the flash on your camera off before taking close up photos of nocturnal animals in the carefully darkened nocturnal animal house.
Apart from the people, Bristol zoo was excellent. It's very small- no paddocks to speak of, and nothing that requires much room. A pair of asiatic lions (keeping well out of the rain and out of sight) were the only big cats. I did like the okapi, who were causing much confusion- small child arrived and announced Zebra! Five minutes later next small child announced Giraffe!
Best of all were the fruit bats, which were huge and crawling happily around their indoor enclosure (apparently bats have more sense than to fly in the rain). When they wanted to rest, they wrapped themselves up in one wing, in a sort of bat cocoon, with only the tips of their ears showing.
I originally thought of requiring some basic level of zoology (the difference between a tortoise and a turtle, that sort of thing) but decided I was being unreasonable, So my examinees will have to demonstrate just three things;
1) the ability to read the name on a sign before announcing the species to your small child.
Two of my favourites today were "a cat" (a Madagascan aye-aye), and "a rat" (a Turkish spiny mouse, rather smaller than your average house mouse). The best however was the pygmy slow loris. Now I don't expect people to be able to recognise a pygmy slow loris. I could probably have managed "loris" (it crawls slowly underneath branches, is furry and is much smaller than a sloth) but I might have been pushed even for that. The lady behind me had no doubts though. Gazing at this 6 inch long, yellow furred hanging ball of fluff up in the branches of the tree, she announced confidently "A meerkat!"
2) the possession and use of at least one further adjective apart from "ugly" and "cute" that can be applied to members of the animal kingdom ("big" in this context doesn't count.)
3) the correct method of turning the flash on your camera off before taking close up photos of nocturnal animals in the carefully darkened nocturnal animal house.
Apart from the people, Bristol zoo was excellent. It's very small- no paddocks to speak of, and nothing that requires much room. A pair of asiatic lions (keeping well out of the rain and out of sight) were the only big cats. I did like the okapi, who were causing much confusion- small child arrived and announced Zebra! Five minutes later next small child announced Giraffe!
Best of all were the fruit bats, which were huge and crawling happily around their indoor enclosure (apparently bats have more sense than to fly in the rain). When they wanted to rest, they wrapped themselves up in one wing, in a sort of bat cocoon, with only the tips of their ears showing.
# posted by Louise H @ 7:54 pm 
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Monday just gone I was in a National Trust stately home, one of the kind that had 10 vicounts before the family died out, who spent most of their time killing things and having them stuffed.
And there I am, as the kid comes along staring at the grouse in a display cabinet and wanting to know what they are. "Pheasants" says her dad. This despite the cabinet full of dead pheasants actually sat on top of the grouse the kid is staring at.
And there I am, as the kid comes along staring at the grouse in a display cabinet and wanting to know what they are. "Pheasants" says her dad. This despite the cabinet full of dead pheasants actually sat on top of the grouse the kid is staring at.
And they don't get any better as they get older. Mart had just pumped up one of our kayaks down by the lake when a smartly dressed woman in her sixties wandered over and said "Oh. Is it inflatable?" and gave it a hefty kick with her pointed shoe. It was, yes.
Good to come across your blog, by a somewhat circuitous route & especially to hear about your novel. Looking forward to our ships-that-pass meeting at Birmingham New Street....
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Good to come across your blog, by a somewhat circuitous route & especially to hear about your novel. Looking forward to our ships-that-pass meeting at Birmingham New Street....
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